It's funny!

By -
Recently I had been hurt real bad. If you really consider the situation, it's no big deal, but maybe I had put so much faith on that one small thing that it suddenly not being true hurt me a lot. I have cried a lot about it, been trying really hard to get over it, and now I m in a stage of recovery. And right now everything that used to hurt me before feels funny.
When someone cut me in the middle of a sentence, I used to get very irritated, now I find myself smiling at the situation. When a friend greeted everyone but forgot me, I used to get really hurt, but now I find myself silently laughing. Everything that's suppose to be hurtful, being ignored, rejected, insulted, getting ill, getting wounded, I find myself laughing in all these situations. It’s as if like I am saying unconsciously, "if I can get through that, everything else is a joke."
Have any of you ever been through this phase? I wonder.

It’s like laughter therapy right? But I would rather be angry and irritated and be in tears. The way I am right now, I feel abnormal.

What got me writing tonight is another un-funnily funny situation. I called up someone to wish them on their birthday and they were the least bit interested in talking to me. Normally, I would have been really hurt, but I just hung up and started laughing, and that brought me to this realization and this piece of writing.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Disappearing Future

By -
 As a child, we were often asked about our ambitions, what we wanted to be in “the future”. I wanted to be a doctor. I remember saying that when I was, perhaps 7 years old. I remember I wanted to be a paediatrician by age 9, perhaps after my first encounter with one. By age 12, I wanted to be a scientist, a neuro-scientist. Also, I wanted to create a biological weapon, that would harm only humans, and wipe out the entire population, because I thought humans were the worst. My friends used to find that absurd, to say the least.  I believed I could achieve whatever I wanted to achieve. Age 17, I started my journey to become a doctor. Not so sure of myself anymore, I barely made the scholarship. The past 4 years, from ages 13-16, had put a lot of doubts into my mind. I was no more omnipotent. A normal trajectory of life. The 6 years of undergrad had me questioning so many things. The idea of creating a biological weapon left far behind. I could barely cope up with my studies, even les
Read more

Love story: teen story

By -
I always wondered how my love story would begin. I knew I would have one. Having a family history of love marriages, I knew I would end up in one too, and to have a love marriage one needs a love story, right! So this wondering began early (the initial thought maximally contributed by movies and partly by novels).  I was definitely not that “pretty, sweet girl down the street” that every guy fell for. I was known as Hitler and Dorji Dorlo, depicting how scary I was (I think). The first time I think I fell in love and got flat rejected (so much so that the guy wouldn’t even look at me) I realized I was ugly too. Dad said that he fell in love with mom the first time he saw her… well that was out for me. High school came to an end without even a single guy looking my direction romantically. Oh! Wait I had one person who approached, and it was epic (as in hilarious). (And I am saying that because it was way too obvious that he held no feelings for me, he was only asking me because hi
Read more

Photograph

By -
Looking through this huge number of photos I had my mum take of me today, after giving her 100's of instructions. All that effort and I still don't look so good! This kind of got me thinking... The problem is not with the photograph as much as it is with how I view myself. I am not satisfied with who I am, physically, emotionally and intellectually. And I think that emotion becomes most manifest when I see myself in a photograph, and so I feel like I never take a single good photo. Do I hate myself? No. I love me, I take care of myself and I will not let anyone walk all over me. But do I like me? No, definitely not. And so why would anyone else like me?! In all my social interactions my first and foremost thought is "they don't like me" and I always feel rejected or stay in a fear of anticipated rejection. It is emotionally and physically exhausting to be on your guard at all times. The older I have gotten, the more significant the fear has become, proba
Read more