Small Things

Edward doesn't exist. I don't know why the hell Stephenie Meyer had to create him? Why she had to give this dream to a girl like me, a die-hard romantic? Why did she feel the need to make girls like me find it so hard to face reality? Edward doesn't exist. A normal guy can't be with you 24*7, a normal guy has a living to make, things to do, relations to keep. A normal guy can't remember everything you say, he will falter in his ways, he may make you the centre of his world but his world is still way too vast for him to always concentrate on you. And Edward is just a fictional character. At the end of the day, we're goanna end up with a normal guy. But now since Edward has dominated the romantic part of my brain, even the best of the normal guy is not good enough. Edward doesn't exist and yet he does. He's freaking abnormal, and yet he's a dream. Edward, oh! Edward. Why don't you exist??????

You praise me with your words, disrespect me with your actions. You say that you love me, but hurt me by hurting yourself. I know you don't trust me when I say I care, because if you did, you wouldn't run away every time I slacked a little in showing my affections. I am not so good with my words, and am too used to being cared for than caring for the one's I love. But I know I want to stand by your side, and even though I slack, I know that my affections are sincere inside. No matter what you think, no matter how I slack, I will be you sister through and through, you can always count on that. Love nanu.... I miss you, and I am sorry.

Mistakes, they are a part of life. Mistakes, everyone makes them once in a while. Mistakes, they help you grow. Mistakes, they make you wiser. But there are  mistakes that are crippling. Some mistakes you can’t look back with pride. Mistakes, that are only disaster, Mistakes you made, not because you were brave but plain stupid, no excuses. Mistakes, they seem to be the only thing that define my life. Mistakes.

I started writing this, after reading someone’s facebook status today. A part of it said, “Never believe in 3 people, SAGITTARIUS, ARIES, and PISCES . They are the most selfish and mean.”  And I am Sagittarius, so it just got me thinking.  Am I mean? Well, I have been called that before, so maybe I am, but as I know myself, yes I am rude, but mean, I don’t know, but, I don’t mind being called mean. Secondly, am I selfish? The answer is very very obvious. I was, I am and I will be, and I have never denied it. I don’t believe in sacrifices. I do things to make me happy. My happiness comes first and foremost for me.  I know how that sounds, but I am not ashamed of being selfish.  I have never done anything in my life for other people and I will never do. All my actions are focused on making me happy, making me feel good.  And I hate when someone comes up with a statement, “I sacrificed this and that for you.”  I am like, “come on dude, you did it because you wanted to do it, it made y

My friend (Tashi Dema) and I went to pizza hut today, a treat to ourselves for nothing.  We ate so much…and by so much, I mean so much, that by the  time we were done, our stomachs were bulging out (in my case, visibly). When I think back to that moment, I get this typical image in my head, of a fat man with a huge pot belly, sitting on a chair he doesn’t fit in, and his legs stretched, and arms apart, head thrown back, mouth wide open, very tired after eating. Ha ha, I think we looked something like that (shhhh…it’s a secret, ;)) I know most of you are thinking that the statement we ate too much is an exaggeration (girls always do that, when it comes to food right?), but if u see the photos of all the pile of food we actually finished, you will be scared too. Anyways, it got more fun when the bill came. It was more than what I had in my pocket.  I thought today would be the day we experience washing pots and pans for real. But that was OK right, after all it was PIZZA HUT!. (Just t

Recently I had been hurt real bad. If you really consider the situation, it's no big deal, but maybe I had put so much faith on that one small thing that it suddenly not being true hurt me a lot. I have cried a lot about it, been trying really hard to get over it, and now I m in a stage of recovery. And right now everything that used to hurt me before feels funny. When someone cut me in the middle of a sentence, I used to get very irritated, now I find myself smiling at the situation. When a friend greeted everyone but forgot me, I used to get really hurt, but now I find myself silently laughing. Everything that's suppose to be hurtful, being ignored, rejected, insulted, getting ill, getting wounded, I find myself laughing in all these situations. It’s as if like I am saying unconsciously, "if I can get through that, everything else is a joke." Have any of you ever been through this phase? I wonder. It’s like laughter therapy right? But I would rather be angry and ir

Again it’s been sometime since I last wrote, and it’s not because I didn’t have anything to write. Enough took place in the last two weeks or so to make a book if I was that capable of expressing myself, but instead I just found myself at loss of words. Today I am not writing about what occurred, just scribbling down some thoughts. I recently found a photo of me taken in 2006. I look at the picture and see no change. I look exactly the same in my eyes. But everyone else says I looked so different then, it doesn’t even look like me. I wondered how that is, and realized that even if I have taken a 100 times more picture in the last year, my eyes still only recognize the picture of me from years ago. When I close my eyes and think of me, I don’t see this girl looking back at me from my mirror, but that girl on my laptop screen, her with different expression in different situations. Something I had not paid attention to before. I am her and not me.  This explains a lot actually. Everyone