Small Things

so far away from home so much closer to reality. falling asleep with lights switched on, wakiing up when the sun is high up in the sky, breakfast, lunch or dinner, nothing has meaning, mornings' are your nights, breakfast at lunch time, and night is time for movies. lectures are nap time, SGDs bunk time and pratical classes for gossip. time never more optimally used, never so badly wasted. and exam approaches you pull a an all nighter, covering 3months worth of lectures in a go, and when you face the paper you know that you dont know, then its time for reflection, begging god for a 'C' and you think "hell! wasn't i a topper back then". Ego flushed in the toilet like after constipation, when the notice board is adorned with declaration, when you've a C- pasted on your forhead, and C was the best you could get, when you think, and you know, you didn't deserve any better anyhow, and that

while walking home today, i was looking at the clouds and a thought struck, not a new one but something that nags me all the time. i don't know how exactly to put this thought in words. have you ever thought about if you didn't exist? would the world be any different? walking on this road called life did you leave any footprints behind? we tend to think ourself important, but are we? i know one thing for sure, if it wasn't me, it could have been someone else. i am nothing special. what have i? what have i achieved? what can i call rightfully mine? what have i made of this existence? the answer, NOTHING. but what nags me is not the fact that i have done nothing with my life, but this ego that i carry inside. i wonder sometimes why? what right have i to hold my head high, to speak among others like an equal, when i know how small i am inside. i found my answer in a empty tin can lying on the ground. i am like the empty tin can, nothing inside. but if i leave it vacu

Frustrated with this stagnant life. Need to flow, flow down the valley, And take my dreams along. Need to grow, learn more, Need to move ahead in life. Frustrated with inaction, indecisiveness; Frustrated with this uncertainity. Need to move ahead And not stop... Never stop...

I found the light I was looking for, I found the answers to my woes, The fear has been trampled on, Victorious I stand on them.

From being pretty to pretty fat, From being best to second, and then last, Being told over and over again "you aren't good in this, you aren't good in that", Knowing that all your achievements are your luck, Never being able to shed a drop of sweat by working hard, Facing rejection, doing reflection, Thinking so deep, yet never gaining the depth, From leader to a follower, That's the story of my life. Failure, failure, Utter failure, That's who I am, that's who I have become, That's where I am trapped. Even though I know I can only be good, And never the best, I need to keep pushing, Just for myself. Even though I know I am stupid, And those who matter have lost their trust in me, I need to keep believing, Just for myself. It's time I stopped questioning, It's time I answered for me, It's time to stand tall, And respect all I am and all I can be, I just need to have a little faith in me, Just for myself....