Small Things

Sometimes life comes crashing down on you with a single realization, and for a while you do not know where you are, what you should do or where you should go from that point onwards. I have had these crashing realizations one after the other and all about the same thing. what I chose to do everytime was to let life go on, let things go on, and see where it takes me, to a better place or worse because at that moment there I didn't know what I was heading to, or should I change my course. There was regret indeed but I didn't know if the regret was going to get bigger if I walked away or if I kept walking. Since then I have taken my chances and kept walking prepared for pits and abyss, and have met none. But what I didn't realize was I was walking downhill, down a gradual slope into a deep valley from where there is no return to the top. But there is a paradox to this, am in a good place, things worked out for the better. As much as it is bad, it is good at the same time,

I have this bad habit of comparing myself to others and end up making myself rather unhappy. Now I don't compare with a person as a whole. Here's what I do: I take someone with the prettiest face and feel bad about my looks, I compare my size to someone slim and trim and feel like a heavy weight champion, I take the topper, the smartest in the lot and compare myself to him/her and feel like an idiot. (the root.) Now, how many people actually have it all? They are a rarity, and i am vain enough to want it all.  I should actually be glad about the things I have, I might not be pretty (forget prettiest) but i am not ugly, or at least I don't think I am and that should be good enough. I might not have a model's body, but am not obese, am not even over-weight and that's more than good enough. No, am not a genius, or a prodigy or blah blah.... But am still average.... And that's not good enough ( I have always cared about brains more than anything else) but still then