Not JUST Anxiety
It is not just anxiety.
It is a constant, inescapable fear that I am doing it all wrong, I am messing it up, I am gonna fail, everyone is judging me and laughing at me and that no matter what I do, I am bound to be doomed.
It wakes up with me, stays with me through the day, even when am just hanging out with my friends and supposedly having a good time. It's with me when I am with my family, when I am watching a good movie or trying to do anything, anything at all.
It fills my mind with a constant nagging fear. It consumes me whole. I can't focus on anything infront of me. Every other emotion is blunted in comparison. My memory fails me. I keep forgetting my things, tasks assigned, what I have read, and often to the extent that I can't remember what I just said or did.
After being with me all day long, it comes to bed with me. Racing heart, and neverending thoughts makes it very difficult to fall asleep, but when I finally do, my dreams are terrible. I am either