Blues
You dream to be here, and yet when your dreams come true, you don't know how to pull it through. It sometimes feels like a slow dragging horror movie, I just wanna close my eyes and never get out of my bed. Piles and piles of notes, books upon books towering over you, and it isn't even half of what you're supposed to know. So many new synapses to create, and in the last moment, so many bad habits to break. The only thing thats at breaking point is you. And when you are right at the edge, you put-on some make-up and go out with the gals, having fun, often wishing for your beau-- aa...may be not, been alone far too long, I would rather have food, but then you are putting on pounds and pounds, and you think "Come on! A decade of struggle and all you got is another flat tyre going right around your abdomen. God! I feel like a fool." And then I am wondering where are the tears that helped you so much as a teenager, to build up your courage and tackle the fear, t