Prejudices of the Society
I will proceed this without any specification on date or person. This work is entirely an effort to express myself on a topic (and may be the only topic) that I feel so strongly about, and isn't at all meant to lay blame or defame any one individual but the society as a whole.
This one casualty, there was this guy, who, from the moment we met that day, started teasing me and insulting me about my Facebook profile picture. I had put up a picture of me from the collection of photos from the trip I had recently gone on, where I had just landed from a jump and my skirt was blown high by the wind showing a generous portion of my thighs but not so much as to make me hesitate to post it online (it wasn't even on focus). He went on and on about it, about how my clothes keep getting shorter and how they ("the boys") couldn't wait for my next post, and imitating the pose and the expression.
(Now that I think about it, I should have asked him to read the caption that went along with it and to suit himself. The caption wad a quote from Pride and Prejudice, said by Elizabeth Bennett, and went thus: "Oh!" Said she, "I heard you before; but I could not immediately determine what to say in reply. You wanted me, I know, to say, 'yes', that you might have the pleasure of despising my taste, but I always delight in overthrowing those kind of schemes, and cheating a person of their premeditated contempt. I have therefore made up my mind to tell you that I do not want to dance a reel at all--and now despise me if you dare." The quote did go remarkably well with his contempt, I dare say.)
I bore all of this without much of a fuss and any actual injury to my sentiments or my pride, and just kept saying, "yes" to his every remark for half a day. In the early hours of afternoon that day, most of us were sitting in the student room, some writing histories and some of just chatting whilst some read. The topic of Facebook photos came again, and at the earliest opportunity, the same guy started off on his rant about my photo and started abusing me.
( I use the word " abusing" because just a few moments earlier to this we were talking that what makes ragging so awful was the fact that even though some ragging acts could be considered funny even by the victims if it lasted only a minute or two, it almost always continued to the point where it became abusive. And the situation was getting the same.)
I sat there listening to his taunts, and I don't remember the things I said to him then, but am sure I said nothing provocative, when he proceeded without hesitation to say that it was okay for me post photos like that, and they were used to it, as it was no different than them going to 'pornstars' pages and liking there photos.
I have always been a little defensive about my character, I am even highly sensitive to adult jokes cracked at my expense, while I can take all other insults remarkably well to a good degree, (The idea and value of a "clean character for a woman" was emphasised from very early in my life, and no matter how varying my ideas have been growing up I have never stepped over my boundaries that society has set because even though I may not value it much, my parents do and I value my parents). Thinking back I do not consider it a wonder that I broke down, when he equalled me to a pornstar for my clothes infront of so many, irrespective of the fact that they were listening or not.
I tried hard, but I couldn't hold my tears and I had to hide my face and give way to them. I was so pissed at myself for crying that I cried harder.
I think, on analysing the event, the worst emotion I felt was disrespect, disrespect of the worst kind, not to me individually but to women in general, to their independence.
Men can walk around half naked, put up photos like that and that's alright. That guy had plenty of photos like that. Me showing a little skin and that too by accident and putting it up online because I liked it how it went with the quote and what I wanted to express, made me equivalent to a pornstar and consequently a slut, I suppose.
Everyone is so full of rights and wrongs, so full of what a woman should be and shouldn't be, should do and shouldn't do, but Nobody...Nobody takes a moment to think and realize how much of our independence and freedom is compromised just because we have a vagina...just because we are women.
I can write pages and pages on why I wouldn't judge a pornstars or women with many partners (known as sluts) or sex worker ( also prostitute) but those are still the worst things you could call a girl, and being a part of this warped-up and prejudiced society, my feeling are still susceptible to it. For that moment there, when he said so ( in his defense, most probably without knowing the depth and significance of his words), I felt so humiliated, I felt all the prejudices of the society against women, I felt trapped in my skin.
I did not feel free. I did not feel independent.
I was asking myself then and long long time after that, "Where is my freedom?" "Where is my Independence?"
P.S. I am not sure if my train of thought is legible.
I did not write to criticise that guy because if I have my right to express my opinion , so does he. I am only criticising the folly behind the prejudice, which is not only not entirely his, it doesn't even originally belong to him. So I bear him no ill-will.
This one casualty, there was this guy, who, from the moment we met that day, started teasing me and insulting me about my Facebook profile picture. I had put up a picture of me from the collection of photos from the trip I had recently gone on, where I had just landed from a jump and my skirt was blown high by the wind showing a generous portion of my thighs but not so much as to make me hesitate to post it online (it wasn't even on focus). He went on and on about it, about how my clothes keep getting shorter and how they ("the boys") couldn't wait for my next post, and imitating the pose and the expression.
(Now that I think about it, I should have asked him to read the caption that went along with it and to suit himself. The caption wad a quote from Pride and Prejudice, said by Elizabeth Bennett, and went thus: "Oh!" Said she, "I heard you before; but I could not immediately determine what to say in reply. You wanted me, I know, to say, 'yes', that you might have the pleasure of despising my taste, but I always delight in overthrowing those kind of schemes, and cheating a person of their premeditated contempt. I have therefore made up my mind to tell you that I do not want to dance a reel at all--and now despise me if you dare." The quote did go remarkably well with his contempt, I dare say.)
I bore all of this without much of a fuss and any actual injury to my sentiments or my pride, and just kept saying, "yes" to his every remark for half a day. In the early hours of afternoon that day, most of us were sitting in the student room, some writing histories and some of just chatting whilst some read. The topic of Facebook photos came again, and at the earliest opportunity, the same guy started off on his rant about my photo and started abusing me.
( I use the word " abusing" because just a few moments earlier to this we were talking that what makes ragging so awful was the fact that even though some ragging acts could be considered funny even by the victims if it lasted only a minute or two, it almost always continued to the point where it became abusive. And the situation was getting the same.)
I sat there listening to his taunts, and I don't remember the things I said to him then, but am sure I said nothing provocative, when he proceeded without hesitation to say that it was okay for me post photos like that, and they were used to it, as it was no different than them going to 'pornstars' pages and liking there photos.
I have always been a little defensive about my character, I am even highly sensitive to adult jokes cracked at my expense, while I can take all other insults remarkably well to a good degree, (The idea and value of a "clean character for a woman" was emphasised from very early in my life, and no matter how varying my ideas have been growing up I have never stepped over my boundaries that society has set because even though I may not value it much, my parents do and I value my parents). Thinking back I do not consider it a wonder that I broke down, when he equalled me to a pornstar for my clothes infront of so many, irrespective of the fact that they were listening or not.
I tried hard, but I couldn't hold my tears and I had to hide my face and give way to them. I was so pissed at myself for crying that I cried harder.
I think, on analysing the event, the worst emotion I felt was disrespect, disrespect of the worst kind, not to me individually but to women in general, to their independence.
Men can walk around half naked, put up photos like that and that's alright. That guy had plenty of photos like that. Me showing a little skin and that too by accident and putting it up online because I liked it how it went with the quote and what I wanted to express, made me equivalent to a pornstar and consequently a slut, I suppose.
Everyone is so full of rights and wrongs, so full of what a woman should be and shouldn't be, should do and shouldn't do, but Nobody...Nobody takes a moment to think and realize how much of our independence and freedom is compromised just because we have a vagina...just because we are women.
I can write pages and pages on why I wouldn't judge a pornstars or women with many partners (known as sluts) or sex worker ( also prostitute) but those are still the worst things you could call a girl, and being a part of this warped-up and prejudiced society, my feeling are still susceptible to it. For that moment there, when he said so ( in his defense, most probably without knowing the depth and significance of his words), I felt so humiliated, I felt all the prejudices of the society against women, I felt trapped in my skin.
I did not feel free. I did not feel independent.
I was asking myself then and long long time after that, "Where is my freedom?" "Where is my Independence?"
P.S. I am not sure if my train of thought is legible.
I did not write to criticise that guy because if I have my right to express my opinion , so does he. I am only criticising the folly behind the prejudice, which is not only not entirely his, it doesn't even originally belong to him. So I bear him no ill-will.
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