Dharma or depression???

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So am back, am back to being ready for death. Knowing that I am good for nothing, I, again, have officially nothing to hold me back when it's time to leave. There is no temptation in tomorrow, no remorse in yesterday. The present could never get better, and though this life has been wasted on me, I have lived to my fullest everyday.
I have no aim, no ambition, my life is mere existence, and thus this existence bears no greed for lengthening its time span.
No, am not talking about ending my life on my own, am not depressed...(and anyways killing oneself needs a lot of courage, and I can't even prick my own finger :p ), am just glad that I have once more lost my greed for tomorrow, that if death comes knocking the next moment, I can smilingly take its hands.
Death can't hurt me, death will heal me.
I have never thought of death as "the dreaded end", it has always been to me an awaited finish, like the the end to an examination. But lately desires were crowding my heart, and I was getting greedy for tomorrow, the future had turned rather tempting and I was beginning to get scared of death.
And suddenly today all those wishes are washing away, and I feel free and in-burdened, ready for death again.

Amen.

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