When Small things can make you Think Big

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I haven’t blogged for a while now, just waiting around for that one topic worth writing about. I read someone’s note yesterday, so well written about a moment in their childhood. If I was to recollect and narrate about my childhood, it would be so vague, to me and to those who read. I don’t have many memories of my childhood or not many funny interesting stories so to say. Now that I think about it, I have always been the kind to play it safe.  Don’t jump from the wall, in case you get hurt, don’t cheat in exams in case you get caught. All I can say is I was aware of the consequences of my actions. That’s the best excuse I can give for a lame and unexciting life.

Talking on life, I pretend (to myself) that I know a lot about it. But the truth is I don’t.  I have begun to feel like, I haven’t  lived a life, I have just read about it, in books, in newspapers, in the lines on my parents faces and the silent tears in my brothers eyes. And that makes me feel like I know life.

The realization is, I guess you are born on earth to make your own share of mistakes, and as long as you don’t make them, you don’t know life. You need to have the courage to walk out of that safe zone. Bravery is not always wise, but I guess everyone prefers to be brave once in a while, so do I.

I am not afraid of failing; I have failed and tried again and again, as they say “failures are the pillars of success”. I am just afraid of falling, and taking with me the people I love.

I know I can return to where I was, play it safe again, get rid of all these worries, and get rid of this fear of being judged, but would I be right? I guess standing in my safe zone, I would be judging myself instead, calling myself a coward and living with the haunting memories of that “if”.

I don’t know if I will be right, no matter what I decide. I feel like I have climbed the wall to jump over to the other side, but now am just too scared to jump, either way.

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